The first words in any journal, story or blog post are always the hardest. Trying to figure out what to say, how to say it, and why you want to say it are usually the most difficult questions any writer needs to answer before writing.
These types of decisions have kept me from writing regularly. The paralysis I feel when I sit to write has left me with unfinished poems, stories, blog posts, and letters. I have sat to write and felt the underwhelming push of thoughts as I stared at the whiteness of the paper or screen.
At other times, I have had a word, phrase or idea pop into my head. Sometimes, the strong urge wakes me and leads me to write. Other times, the thoughts cloud my head while I drive, work or exercise. Of course, I cannot always stop to capture them.
I take great joy in writing and creating, but I, more often, feel the pain of fruitless wandering sit blank thoughts.
My desire to write to perfection–the next great work–stalls me and leaves me frustrated. I write. Rewrite. Edit. And I leave it unfinished.
I seldom share my writing because I see it as unworthy and plain. I have become much less prolific as I have aged. I do not have the time I did. I do not dedicate myself to writing. I am much less organized about keeping my thoughts and beginnings. They are in notebooks, files, and on scrap paper.
From elementary until my late-20s I wrote often. I wrote consistently. The thoughts flowed. The paper filled. I felt like a writer, then life happened, and I did not take the time to write for fun. I wrote for learning. I wrote because I had to finish my thesis. I wrote because I had to synthesize and share my learning. I let the fun out of writing.
Additionally, I lost a significant portion of my writing to technology. I was using a Brother Word Processor. I saved my files to floppy disks, but the word processor stopped working. No other devices could read files on the disks.
This past fall, I returned to the classroom. The first unit I taught required me to write and share with my students. I felt inspiration and wrote a few things, but the discipline of writing did not return completely. When we moved on to an independent reading unit, I stopped writing.
For my birthday, my daughter, Krystyn, sent me a new journal and a book with story prompts.
I sat down with the first page of this journal, not knowing what I would say; nonetheless, I put pen to paper.
I know to be more creative, I need to be more prolific. I need to be more disciplined. I need to take the time to write.
It is my desire to use these gifts to reubvigorate the discipline of regular journaling. I am going to share my writing through my blog. I am going to publish a new post weekly. Some will be about my experiences in the classroom. Some will be about my life. All will be about my continued journey of learning.
Please share your thoughts about writing. Let me know what you think about my blog entries. Your feedback is important in helping me to reflect, learn, and grow.